Self Doubt

Good morning!

Well this is day 2 of trying to blog everyday. What shall I write about? Shall I write about trying to make it as an artist? Shall I write about trying to begin a career at 54 years old? How about beefs about companies? I could tell why Orbitz and Staples suck and what they did to us. What about my profound views on men and women?

Maybe trying to make it as an artist would be good. Then links about my products on Zazzle and other sites would be relevant. I don’t want a blog that is all sales pitches but at the same time I need to start making some sales. Maybe, in the end, something I say may be useful to others starting out. OK

So it was 2 years ago, we were in San Diego, and decided to move to South Carolina. The first posts of this blog were all about the drive across country. San Diego was getting very expensive. Everything was stressful, even a day off, life in the big city. Meanwhile, Mom used to live in Anderson, SC and she missed her friends. Meanwhile, my daughter and her family had moved to Greenvile. Greenville is quite near Anderson. So we up and did it.

I had a little bit of money at the time. Somehow the prospect of being out of a job did not scare me too much, silly fool that I am.

Mom bought a house that has four (4) that’s 4 rooms for crafting in the basement. This was heavenly to me. I had never had this kind of space to work in before. Always, in the past, it was on the kitchen table or balanced on my bed. Now we have these 4 glorious rooms. One is like a big walk in closet sort of. It has 2 closets on one wall and the rest of the room has been decked out with the previous owners old kitchen cabinets. They are blue. We had special shelves put into one of the closets, deep and shallow, for holding paper and drawings. The second room is the biggest. This is where we have the big cafeteria tables, the sewing machines, the ironing board, and a wall of shelves filled with fabric. We have not finished unpacking all the fabric! The last 2 rooms are unfinished basement rooms. In one we put all the painting supplies and in the other we put all the tool bench stuff. This is easily 1/3 of this house dedicated to art studio.

So why do I not work down there? I don’t know! I guess the main feeling I get when I think of going down there is the overwhelming dread of having to organize it. As I mentioned before – we have not fully unpacked yet – 2 years later.

Another thing is the constant struggle to believe in myself. How do you fix a wrong mindset? I started writing profound affirmations on the bathroom wall downstairs. “I think I can, I think I can.” and “Don’t let fear be in the driver’s seat” (Bob said that on Biggest Loser). “That, that is, is. That, that is not, is not.”  It turns out, on one, I really wrote “Don’t let fear be in the diver’s seat”. OK, no big deal? It froze me up. Why should a silly thing like that freeze me up? It messed up the piece, see? You can’t have a mural with cross outs.

One day I made an awesome find while out yard sailing. I found 4 Tiffany mugs for 50 cents each! They were from 1982 and based on designs by Frank Lloyd Wright. When I got home and checked I saw they were going for $90.00 apiece! Woo hoo! I put them up on my eBay

for $29.00 or something and they quickly skyrocketed to $92.00! Nice profit! Then they were returned. Two of the mugs had some crazing from age. I had seen it. It was showing in my photos in the listing, but when I looked closer after they came back, I saw that it was a little worse than I realized. Wow, this froze me alot. Now I have 2 mugs in fantastic condition and 2 mugs with crazing. I can sell them separately, 2 and 2. A single mug on replacements is $90. So why have I not re-listed them over 2 months later? I need a defrost setting. I have tons of unfinished projects, five paintings I was working on sitting there unfinished.

Warren Buffet was on TV talking about how he got rich. He said that he makes his deals “unemotionally”. I can see why. Let’s hope I can learn to see how.


About sharonpassmore

Hi. I am an artist living in Greenville, South Carolina. I am the Art moderator at Eratosphere, a forum of Ablemuse Review. I play with all sorts of art-forms, including digital design and fabric design, but nearest to my heart, at the moment, is collage. I like it best if the collage materials are not recognized from a distance and reveal themselves at close up, the way a painting can look realistic from a distance but on closer inspection, the freedom of brushstrokes becomes apparent. My materials are my brushstrokes. ​ I use anything I find in my collage that suits the purpose, beads, broken jewelry, wallpaper scraps etc... I always try to incorporate recycled packaging too. This is important to me, partly because of the environment, and partly because I get a little thrill out of recognizing the value of materials most people would discard as trash. Think of this next time you peel that wonderful foil seal off a new can of coffee. ​ I am inspired by many kinds of traditional arts and crafts. The cultural history of the world is just loaded with fabulous treasure, isn't it? I view the world of art and art history as a giant buffet and I want to sample a taste of everything. "Mmmmm that Wabi Sabi looks delicious! Gimme a little of that Horror Vacui! Check out those fantastic Molas!" I completely reject the idea that one artform is superior to another due to what is in fashion at the moment. Art is timeless. ​ If there's something I don't like too much, I try to keep in mind that I probably don't understand it, and that's a signal to me that I have something more to learn. There is always something more to learn. Thanks for visitng <3 Sharon Passmore
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